<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?><?xml-stylesheet href='http://feed.17knet.cn/styles/feedsky8.xsl' type='text/xsl' ?><!--这是一个由Feedsy提供技术支持的Feed，为了提高读者阅读的体验，以及满足用户美化自己Feed的需要，我们设计了多种精美的Feed模板，提供给大家选择，所有最终呈现出来的样式，皆由用户自愿选择使用，未经许可，任何团体和个人，请不要擅自修改样式或者盗用，这是对于用户选择权的尊重。--><rss xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:fs="http://www.feedsky.com/namespace/feed" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" version="2.0"><channel><atom:link href="http://feed.17knet.cn" type="application/rss+xml" rel="self"></atom:link><fs:self_link href="http://feed.feedsky.com/sexla" type="application/rss+xml"></fs:self_link><lastBuildDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 02:10:51 GMT</lastBuildDate><title>一起看</title><description>你，我，他，一起看世界--17knet.cn</description><image><url>http://www.feedsky.com/feed/sexla/sc/gif</url><title>一起看</title><link>http://17knet.cn</link></image><link>http://17knet.cn</link><sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod><sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency><language>en</language><pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 02:10:51 GMT</pubDate><item><title>开店不是你想开就能开的</title><link>http://17knet.cn/?p=2072</link><content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;很久没有更新博客了，自从换了这个空间后，感觉提不起兴趣了，也许是因为慢，也许是因为忙。但是我始终是惦记着这个博客的，有许多话还是想在这里说一说的。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;上一次跟心博客的时候，我就想开一家店，现在店是开了，却非常不理想，几乎是在亏本经营。虽然这半年来我没赚钱，生意好起来的可能性也微乎其微，可是我并没有放弃，一直维持了下去，我也不知道这是为什么。也许是我还有一份工作吧，至少还能吃的开饭，对现在工作的担心，使得我不得不考虑开店这条出路吧。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;我似乎天生不是一个做生意的料，但不知为何我却喜欢上了做生意，虽然营业额不多，却总能给我带来喜悦和幸福感。这与我从事的工作总是让我感觉沮丧，郁闷所不同的，至少我现在有了希望。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;我开店很失败，许多教训让我学到了以前不知道的东西，开店不是你想开就想开的，你需要付出很多，却不一定能得到，这里面有一种冒险的味道，但是却值得去做。&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;p&gt;微博客任务平台分为2种用户，一种是普通的微博客用户，他们可以再平台上接受任务，通过微博客转发广告内容，获取佣金，当佣金到达一定额度后，就可以提现到支付宝。另一种用户就是广告主，当然也是微博客用户，他们将自己的广告发到微博后，在微博客任务平台上发布任务，然后支付给完成任务的用户一定的金钱，从而达到自己的营销目的。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;除了做微博客任务赚钱之外，微发动与微传播还可以邀请好友注册，获取佣金，虽然每次做任务获得的钱不多，但是也很容易能够做到支付。&lt;br /&gt;
1、微传播&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://www.weichuanbo.com/images/logo.gif&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
网址：&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.weichuanbo.com?yn=3022&quot;&gt;www.weichuanbo.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
2、微发动&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://www.weifadong.com/resource/img/logo.gif&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
网址：&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.weifadong.com/index.php?do=register&amp;#038;uidreg=ZvpjH&quot;&gt;www.weifadong.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
相对来说，邀请好友赚钱更快，通过QQ群，邮件群发，微博客群发都可以获得不错的收入。&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;/table&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://www1.feedsky.com/t1/564147206/sexla/feedsky/s.gif?r=http://17knet.cn/?p=2069&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;position:absolute&quot; /&gt;</description><category>赚钱</category><pubDate>Tue, 30 Aug 2011 18:16:00 +0800</pubDate><author>admin</author><comments>http://17knet.cn/?p=2069#comments</comments><guid isPermaLink="false">http://17knet.cn/?p=2069</guid><dc:creator>admin</dc:creator><fs:srclink>http://17knet.cn/?p=2069</fs:srclink><fs:srcfeed>http://17knet.cn/?feed=rss2</fs:srcfeed><fs:itemid>feedsky/sexla/~7761018/564147206/5870249</fs:itemid></item><item><title>那一天</title><link>http://17knet.cn/?p=2067</link><content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;那一天，王动与老婆于娜商量好去批发市场上货，早早的开了门，一起去吃了早点。回来后，于娜要打扫一下卫生，王动就打开笔记本电脑，坐在门口上会儿网。王动没有拉宽带，联通太贵了，一年要九百多，而且拉破也怀孕了，经常上网的话也不好。偶然一次在店里发现笔记本电脑无线有CMCC信号，估计是从对面名都枫景传过来的，虽然信号不怎么好，但也凑合能上，而且用的是移动的测试号，不花钱。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;于娜爱上网，尤其爱整她的QQ空间，一看到王动上网，她立马丢下活儿过来把笔记本抢了去，自己上QQ了。王动只好可怜巴巴的在旁陪着，希望她能快点让给他。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;隔壁店里有两个小孩，一个七八岁的小女孩和一个四五岁的男孩，是姐弟，小女孩听话懂事，小男孩似乎脑子有毛病，有多动症和暴力倾向，不管见到谁都追着打。看到和他差不多的小女孩，跑过去就叫妹妹，然后抱住就亲一口，十足的小流氓。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;于娜上网的时候，这姐弟两个也来看热闹，那小孩就到处乱动，一会儿咬他姐姐的胳膊，一会儿拿店里的夹子，一会儿又站在凳子上。王动不敢打这小孩，怕隔壁他母亲过来打麻烦，只能劝他出去。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;于娜与她妈妈QQ视频后哭了，很久没回家了，娘两个聊了一会儿，那小孩儿动的实在麻烦，就把电脑让给了王动，自己进去洗衣服了。&lt;br /&gt;
王动一晚上电脑，就啥也不顾了，也不帮于娜打扫卫生，洗衣服。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;一会儿于娜出来，看到凳子上的脏脚印，立马瞪圆了眼睛问：“这谁弄的？”&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;王动说：“那小男孩弄的！”&lt;br /&gt;
“你怎么不喊他下来？”&lt;br /&gt;
“没来得及喊，他就站上去了！”&lt;br /&gt;
于娜气的转身进去了，嘴里就开始骂王动没用，窝囊废，懒猪，什么都不帮他做，没用的男人。&lt;br /&gt;
王动气不过，把电脑关了，进去说：“我出去了！”&lt;br /&gt;
于娜一听，更来气了，把电饭锅“咣当”一声扔在地上，气的喊：“你到哪儿去？今天你一天也别想出门！”&lt;br /&gt;
王动心里头胆怯，虽然以前也见到过于娜发过大脾气，但因为这么点小事就发这么大脾气，却是少见，可手里却不动，将笔记本往电脑包里装。&lt;br /&gt;
于娜这时候气的大吼起来：“你哪儿都不能去，电饭锅坏了，把这个修好，要不就给我买个新的！”说着就把电饭锅扔了过来，然后顺手抓起旁边的一根棍子，在床上抽了一下，气不过，又用手揪了一下王动的头发。&lt;br /&gt;
“修不好，你哪儿也别想去！不行就跟你离婚，孩子也打掉！”&lt;br /&gt;
王动心里的火焰在升腾，虽然他一再仍让，一再因为自己的过错而不顶撞她 ，可是却无法仍受她对自己动手。他心里一顿委屈，想到了这些年他为了这个家放弃的一切，或许从开始就是个错误，长痛不如短痛，离就离吧。&lt;br /&gt;
王动一气之下，站起身说：“离就离，孩子你想打掉就打掉吧，明天就去办结婚证，这种日子我受够了！”&lt;br /&gt;
于娜也在气头上，一屁股坐在床上，说：“离就离，给我五千块钱，我去打胎！”&lt;br /&gt;
王动那里有那么多钱，去了一千块钱给她，感觉心如死灰，再也无心玩弄电脑，于娜出去后，他就一直坐在床上发呆。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;于娜拿着一千元钱并没有去打胎，而失去照了同学乌兰逛街了，他们中午海吃了一顿，然后去看孕妇装，一直逛到晚上七点多，请乌兰吃完火锅才回去的。把王动的一千元花了少半儿，心里的气消解了不少。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;于娜知道王动不是真的要她打胎，他是个很被动的人，只要她主动和解，他就一定会路出笑容的，她太了解他了。&lt;br /&gt;
晚上回去，于娜进去后，果然看到王动面上闪过一丝惊喜，但为了面子，王动假装面无表情。&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;/table&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://www1.feedsky.com/t1/564147208/sexla/feedsky/s.gif?r=http://17knet.cn/?p=2064&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;position:absolute&quot; /&gt;</description><category>时评</category><pubDate>Fri, 05 Aug 2011 09:30:00 +0800</pubDate><author>admin</author><comments>http://17knet.cn/?p=2064#comments</comments><guid isPermaLink="false">http://17knet.cn/?p=2064</guid><dc:creator>admin</dc:creator><fs:srclink>http://17knet.cn/?p=2064</fs:srclink><fs:srcfeed>http://17knet.cn/?feed=rss2</fs:srcfeed><fs:itemid>feedsky/sexla/~7761018/564147208/5870249</fs:itemid></item><item><title>避免谈话地雷</title><link>http://17knet.cn/?p=2062</link><content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;中国人说 “世事洞明皆学问，人情练达即文章”，其实老外也不都是口无遮拦，到处捅娄子的直肠子。虽然中国人是天生的“打太极”高手，给人的感觉总是太过于圆滑，那么，在人际交往中我们却也可以借鉴一下老外一些恰到好处的说话艺术。下面就是Kristyn Kusek Lewis提出的18 Common Phrases to Avoid in Conversation（谈话中应该避免的18句套话），看看其中是不是有好多句是你常常脱口而出的呢？&lt;br /&gt;
一、外表篇&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Woman gasping&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“You look tired.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:It implies she doesn’t look good.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“Is everything OK?” We often blurt the “tired” comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“你看起来很累。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：这意味着她看起来很糟。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“一切都还好吧？”一般来说我们会脱口而出说人“累”是因为我们觉得他们可能不舒服，所以直接问好了。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. If you’re curious about how she got so svelte, add, “What’s your secret?”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“哇，你瘦了好多哦！”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：对一个刚刚减肥成功的人来说，这可能会让对方觉得之前自己很不好看。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“你看起来棒极了！”这就够了。要是你很想知道她是怎么变得这么苗条的，就加一句“你有什么秘诀吗？”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“You look good for your age.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It’s saying, “You look great―compared with other old people. It’s amazing you have all your own teeth.”&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“You look great.”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“以这个年纪来说，你看起来好极了。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：任何有这样潜台词的话都很不礼貌。这好像在说：“你看起来好极了——跟别的老人比。那你的牙还没掉实在是太让人吃惊了。”&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“你看起来好极了。”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“I could never wear that.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:It can be misunderstood as a criticism. (“I could never wear that because it’s so ugly.”)&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“You look so good in skinny jeans.” If you slip, say something like “I could never wear that…because I wasn’t blessed with your long legs.”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“我可穿不了这样的。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：这样的话可能会让人以为你在批评她。（“我可穿不了这样的，实在是太丑了。”）&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“你穿这种瘦腿牛仔裤太好看了。”要是你已经脱口而出了，马上补句：“我可穿不了这样的……我可没有像你这样的长腿。”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Expert:Clinton Kelly, cohost of the TLC show, What Not to Wear.&lt;br /&gt;
专家：Clinton Kelly，TLC电视台节目《不该穿的》主持人。&lt;br /&gt;
二、职场篇：&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Woman drops coffee cup&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“That’s not my job.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:If your superior asks you to do something, it is your job.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I’m not sure that should be my priority right now.” Then have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“这不归我管。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：要是你的上司让你干什么，这就是你的工作了。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“现在我不知道自己的首要任务是什么。”然后开始跟你的老板讨论一下自己手上的活。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“This might sound stupid, but…”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with wishy-washy language.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:What’s on your mind. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“这个主意可能很蠢，不过……”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：永远不要用这种犹豫不决的话让自己的点子看起来不值一提。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：直接说出自己心中所想。信心十足地提出自己的想法能让你显得更有能力。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“I don’t have time to talk to you.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:It’s plain rude, in person or on the phone.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I’m just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I’m done?” Graciously explain why you can’t talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说：“我没时间跟你聊天。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为：这太不礼貌了，不管是面对面还是电话里。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“我手头还有点事，做完了就过去找你怎么样？”礼貌地解释为什么现在不能说话，并建议晚些时候再聊。要是暂时没时间，就不要接电话，让对方直接去语音信箱留言即可。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Expert:Suzanne Bates, president and chief executive officer of Bates Communications, an executive-training firm in Wellesley, Massachusetts, and author ofSpeak Like a CEO(McGraw-Hill, $22,amazon.com).&lt;br /&gt;
专家：Suzanne Bates,Bates沟通（一家位于马萨诸塞州的高层培训公司）总裁、CEO，著有《CEO的说话之道》一书。&lt;br /&gt;
三、面试篇：&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Woman ready for vacation&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“My current boss is horrendous.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:It’s unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you’d start bad-mouthing her. For all you know, she and your current boss are old pals.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I’m ready for a new challenge” or a similarly positive remark.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “我现在的老板糟糕透顶。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 这样说很不专业。你的面试官可能会觉得今后你也会说他的坏话。从你的角度看，他们都是一国的。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“我觉得自己已经准备好接受新挑战了。”或者类似的正面理由。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“Do you think I’d fit in here?”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:You’re the interviewee, not the interviewer.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“What do you enjoy about working here?” By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你觉得我会适合这个环境吗？”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 是你在被面试，不是面试官。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “你个人觉得这个工作环境最好的是什么部分？”面试中你也可以提问，但最好提些能说明你对该公司非常感兴趣的问题。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“What are the hours like?” or “What’s the vacation policy?”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:You want to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“What’s the day-to-day like here?” Then, if you’ve really jumped through every hoop and time off still hasn’t been mentioned, say, “Can you tell me about the compensation and benefits package?”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “工作时间怎么样？”或者“假期是怎么安排的？”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 你应该表现出自己可以专心工作的样子。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “日常工作环境是什么样的？”然后，你就可以得知该公司的工作环境了，要是对方没提到休假的问题，可以说“请问公司的奖惩以及福利制度是怎么样的？”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Expert:Mary Mitchell, president of the Mitchell Organization, a corporate-etiquette training firm in Seattle, and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette (Alpha, $19,amazon.com).&lt;br /&gt;
专家：Mary Mitchell，西雅图公司礼仪培训公司Mitchell公司的总裁，也是《礼仪指南》一书的作者。&lt;br /&gt;
四、孕婴篇：&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Two women talking&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“Are you pregnant?”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:You ask, she’s not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she’s overweight.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“Hello” or “Great to see you” or “You look great.” Anything besides “Are you pregnant?” or “What’s the due date?” will do. Save yourself the humiliation and never ask.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你怀孕了吗？”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 要是你问了，可她并没怀，那就实在是太尴尬了，这不就是在说她太胖了吗？&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “你好啊”或“见到你太好了”或“你看起来好极了。”总之不要问“你怀孕了吗？”或者“预产期几号？”就行了。为免尴尬还是不要问这种问题吧。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“Do you plan on breast-feeding?”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:The issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:Nothing. Unless you’re very close, don’t ask. If you slip, make up for the blunder by adding, “And do you feel comfortable telling me?”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你打算喂母乳吗？”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 这种问题有点复杂，可能引发争论，也有可能她会不想在大庭广众讨论这些。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： 什么都别问。除非你俩特别亲近，否则就什么都别问。要是不小心问出了口，就补上一句：“跟我谈这个不尴尬吧？”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“Were your twins natural?” or “It must have been hard for your child’s birth parent to give him up.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:You’re suggesting that natural conception is better than in vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:To a parent of multiples, try a light “Wow, you have your hands full!” To an adoptive parent, say the same stuff you would to any other parent: “She’s adorable!” or “How old is he?”&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你的双胞胎是自然受孕的吗？”或者“你宝宝的生身父母放弃他肯定特别难受。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 这么说感觉好像自然受孕就比人工授精或者领养更好。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： 对多胞胎的父母，可以轻松地说：“哇，这么多肯定累死你了。”对收养的父母，说你对普通父母会说的话就行了，比如“她真可爱。”或者“他多大了？”&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Expert:Kim Hahn, founder and chief executive officer of Conceive magazine.&lt;br /&gt;
专家：Kim Hahn，《孕期》杂志创始人及CEO。&lt;br /&gt;
五、剩女篇：&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Woman crying&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“You were too good for him.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:You are basically saying she has bad taste. And you’ll be embarrassed if they ever patch it up.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“His loss!” It gets the same point across without disparaging her judgment.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “他配不上你。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 这么说就意味着你觉得她的品味很差。要是他俩又复合了，你就丢脸了。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话：“这是他的损失。”这句话的效果是一样的，但又没有鄙视她的选择的意思。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“I’m glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:She’ll wonder about your fake adoration for him while they were together.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I’m confident you’ll find someone who will give you exactly what you want.” It focuses on what’s to come, not on the dud you’re glad she’s done with.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你能甩了他我太高兴了。我本来就不喜欢他。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 她会觉得之前他俩还在一起时你的善意很虚伪。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “你肯定能找到一个完全符合你要求的男人。”这句话的重点是未来，而且很支持她这样做。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“How could someone as perfect as you still be single?”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:A statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is “What’s wrong with you?”&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“Seeing anyone?” If she’s tight-lipped about her love life, move on to other topics.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你条件这么好，怎么还会单身啊？”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 像这样的赞美听起来有点讽刺的感觉。她可能会听成“你到底有什么问题？”&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “最近有目标吗？”要是她对感情生活讳莫如深，就谈别的吧。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Expert:Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills and the author of Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away(Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $23,amazon.com).&lt;br /&gt;
专家：Bethany Marshall博士，比福利山地区的心理理疗师，著有《忍无可忍：何时修补裂痕，何时慧剑斩情》。&lt;br /&gt;
六、内部战争篇：&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“You always” or “You never” or “You’re a [slob, jerk]” or “You’re wrong.”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:Speaking in absolutes like “you always” and “you’re wrong” is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I’m upset that you left the dishes in the sink again. What can we do so that this stops happening?” Starting with the pronoun I puts the focus on how you feel, not why he’s in the doghouse, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “你总是……”“你从来都不会……”“你这个[没出息的，混蛋……]”或者“你就是错了。”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 斩钉截铁地说“你总是”或者“你就是错了”这样的话是在说他都是错而你都是对，而恶语相向则会让对方觉得非常无助，他会马上转为自我防御，这会让一场已经很糟的争吵更加糟糕。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “我不高兴是因为你又把脏盘子放水池不管了。到底怎么样才能让你改了这个坏毛病呢？”用“我”字开始，将重点放在你自己的感受上，而不是为了让他丢脸，这样他会更加愿意接受意见，解决问题。&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
Don’t say:“If you really loved me, you would…”&lt;br /&gt;
Why:The more you treat your partner as if he’ll never satisfy you, the less satisfied you’ll be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something isn’t a good way to build intimacy.&lt;br /&gt;
Instead say:“I feel taken for granted when you don’t help around the house. I would feel better if we could…” The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you’re upset and then offer a solution.&lt;br /&gt;
不要说： “要是你真的爱我，你就该……”&lt;br /&gt;
因为： 你越表现地好像他永远不能满足你，你就越不可能被满足。用威胁哀求让对方做你想让他做的，这种控制对方的方法并不能巩固两人的亲密关系。&lt;br /&gt;
换句话： “你不帮忙家务这让我觉得很不被重视。要是我们能……我就会好受多了。”要想保证争执是有建设性的而不是一团糟，最好的办法是直截了当地说明你为什么不高兴，然后提供一个解决方案。&lt;/p&gt;
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跟移动来金山医学院验收，放假没有进去，顺便拍了这张照片。&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://photo.staticsdo.com/a1/206/10/119/71402-17321649-8.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;大青山&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
还有这张，大家猜猜这是兔子呢，还是什么呢？？&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;p&gt;上午十点多到了民政局，底楼是照相馆，2楼才是办证的，你要想上2楼，必须先通过底楼照相馆这一关，也就是说你必须在这儿消费一下。我们到的时候前面有一对儿结婚的，2对儿离婚的。照相的老头处理相片非常慢，等到十一点多才轮到我们，我们妻子各自照了单人相，复印了户口本身份证，总共花了27元，2楼板政人员就下班了，告诉我们下午再来。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;说是下午2点半上班，可是等到三点二十人才到，一问要办结婚证必须先婚检，否则不给办结婚证。我们必须当天返回呼市啊，所以那里体检表，赶紧打了车往婚检的地方赶。婚检一开始也顺利，一位女医生也规规矩矩的给检查了，可是到最后一位男医生却已各种借口不予通过，我和妻子当时就猜出这位医生是想要钱的意思，给了100元果然给通过了。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;回到婚姻登记处，等了半个小时总算办上了，不过费用比我们预想的要多，结婚证工本费9元，但是要援助公益事业200元，这个是强制的，不带一点商量的。基于近日红十字会的臭名，我心中就感觉很不爽，心想这200元肯定是被他们内部人黑了的。本来慈善是自愿的，现在成了强制性的，利用新婚人员花钱不在乎的心理，明火执仗的打劫。可是心中虽然不爽，但花钱办完事了，也只能忍气吞声。&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;/table&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://www1.feedsky.com/t1/564147211/sexla/feedsky/s.gif?r=http://17knet.cn/?p=2055&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;position:absolute&quot; /&gt;</content:encoded><wfw:commentRss>http://17knet.cn/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2055</wfw:commentRss><slash:comments>4</slash:comments><description>我去年结婚，直到今年因为各种琐事耽搁了领结婚证。上个月妻子怀孕，我才不得不挤出时间回到老家办结婚证。因为事先已经从网上查了下办结婚证所需的材料，所以身份证，户口本，双人相片都带好了，还带了喜糖，据说是现在带喜糖喜烟已经是不成文的规定了。 上午十点多到了民政局，底楼是照相馆，2楼才是办证的，你要想上2楼，必须先通过底楼照相馆这一关，也就是说你必须在这儿消费一下。我们到的时候前面有一对儿结婚的，2对儿离婚的。照相的老头处理相片非常慢，等到十一点多才轮到我们，我们妻子各自照了单人相，复印了户口本身份证，总共花了27元，2楼板政人员就下班了，告诉我们下午再来。 说是下午2点半上班，可是等到三点二十人才到，一问要办结婚证必须先婚检，否则不给办结婚证。我们必须当天返回呼市啊，所以那里体检表，赶紧打了车往婚检的地方赶。婚检一开始也顺利，一位女医生也规规矩矩的给检查了，可是到最后一位男医生却已各种借口不予通过，我和妻子当时就猜出这位医生是想要钱的意思，给了100元果然给通过了。 回到婚姻登记处，等了半个小时总算办上了，不过费用比我们预想的要多，结婚证工本费9元，但是要援助公益事业200元，这个是强制的，不带一点商量的。基于近日红十字会的臭名，我心中就感觉很不爽，心想这200元肯定是被他们内部人黑了的。本来慈善是自愿的，现在成了强制性的，利用新婚人员花钱不在乎的心理，明火执仗的打劫。可是心中虽然不爽，但花钱办完事了，也只能忍气吞声。&lt;table class=&quot;wumii-related-items&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;3&quot; border=&quot;0&quot;  style=&quot;clear: both;&quot;&gt;
    
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&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;有道笔记试用地址：&lt;a rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; href=&quot;http://note.youdao.com/&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;note.youdao.com&lt;/a&gt;。 &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;这次上线的版本包括桌面版、网页版和WAP版。桌面版和网页版的功能基本保持一致，包括笔记的编辑、同步、管理和搜索功能；同时WAP版也能支持基本的浏览、编辑和搜索功能。通过这些功能，你可以轻松同步、管理各终端上的所有笔记。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;实时增量式同步，更快更省流量 &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
在有道笔记网页版中新建一个笔记，并进行保存(如图一所示)，另一台电脑上的桌面版有道笔记会进行实时同步（如图二所示），刚刚在网页版中新建的笔记会被 自动推送到桌面版里并实时显示出来，达到“实时输入，实时同步，实时显示”的效果。特别值得注意的是，有道笔记采用了先进的增量式同步技术（只同步每次修 改的那部分内容而不是整个笔记），同步速度更快更省流量。&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://img.cnbeta.com/upimg/110627/sever.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;有道笔记_网页版&quot; width=&quot;560&quot; height=&quot;340&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
图一：在网页版中新建一个笔记&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://img.cnbeta.com/upimg/110627/pc.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;有道笔记_桌面版&quot; width=&quot;560&quot; height=&quot;324&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
图二：桌面版实时同步后得到的笔记&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;采用“三备份存储”技术，数据安全稳定有保障 &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
基于网易有道自主研发的分布式存储和并行计算平台系统，有道笔记对用户的数据进行“三备份存储”，能有效保障用户数据的安全性和稳定性；而且，也能很容易地扩大整个系统的存储规模、数据处理能力以满足高速增长的用户数带来的需求。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;超大免费存储空间，附件支持类型丰富&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
有道笔记为用户提供了免费的超大存储空间：1G的初始空间，并可根据在线时长自动增长。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://img.cnbeta.com/upimg/110627/account.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;有道笔记_超大免费存储空间&quot; width=&quot;367&quot; height=&quot;232&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;除了免费空间大，相比同类产品，有道笔记的另一个好处在于，支持的附件类型更丰富：包括图片、pdf及word、excel、ppt等office类附件。这样，就可以方便地将已有的各种格式的工作文档以附件的形式保存在有道笔记里了。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;贴心实用的网页剪报功能，精彩网页一键保存&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
除了桌面版、网页版和WAP版，一起上线的还包括外延的网页剪报功能，即通过收藏夹里的一段JavaScript代码将网页里的信息一键抓取保存至有道笔 记里，进行知识的收藏和积累，还可进行二次编辑，有效解决了网页链接失效导致收藏夹里保存的网页无法显示的烦恼。相信这个功能对知识积累型的用户是一个很 好的选择。&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;img src=&quot;http://img.cnbeta.com/upimg/110627/webclipper.png&quot; alt=&quot;有道笔记_网页剪报&quot; width=&quot;258&quot; height=&quot;190&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
注：网页剪报的使用示例&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;用户还可以通过有道笔记官网上的宣传视频更直观地了解有道笔记带来的便捷之处，包括多终端设备间数据同步、多地点办公、纷繁资料管理、网页存储收藏这几个场景。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;作为跨平台解决方案的重要组成部分――有道笔记iPhone版目前正在紧张地开发中，不久后即将上线。届时，用户在iPhone上也可以体验到有道笔记带来的方便与快捷了。使用有道笔记，随时随地，记录一切。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;有道笔记桌面版及网页版：&lt;a rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; href=&quot;http://note.youdao.com/&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;note.youdao.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
有道笔记WAP版：&lt;a rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; href=&quot;http://m.note.youdao.com/&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;m.note.youdao.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
有道笔记网页剪报功能：&lt;a rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; href=&quot;http://note.youdao.com/web-clipper.html&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;note.youdao.com/web-clipper.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
另外，您还可以在微博上关注我们：&lt;a rel=&quot;nofollow&quot; href=&quot;http://weibo.com/youdaonote&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;weibo.com/youdaonote&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
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                &lt;font size=&quot;-1&quot; color=&quot;#bbbbbb&quot; style=&quot;display: block !important; font-family: arial !important; padding: 5px 0 !important; font-size: 12px !important; color: #bbb !important;&quot;&gt;无觅&lt;/font&gt;
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&lt;/table&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://www1.feedsky.com/t1/564147212/sexla/feedsky/s.gif?r=http://17knet.cn/?p=2051&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;position:absolute&quot; /&gt;</description><category>网络</category><pubDate>Thu, 30 Jun 2011 12:02:46 +0800</pubDate><author>admin</author><comments>http://17knet.cn/?p=2051#comments</comments><guid isPermaLink="false">http://17knet.cn/?p=2051</guid><dc:creator>admin</dc:creator><fs:srclink>http://17knet.cn/?p=2051</fs:srclink><fs:srcfeed>http://17knet.cn/?feed=rss2</fs:srcfeed><fs:itemid>feedsky/sexla/~7761018/564147212/5870249</fs:itemid></item><item><title>将为人父</title><link>http://17knet.cn/?p=2046</link><content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;老婆怀孕了，这应该是个好消息。近几年我也一直在为这件事忧虑，干了这么多年的通信和网络，我的身体是否还有能力孕育一个新的生命。生活中各种不利的信息，让我忧心忡忡，为此我还准备去医院检查一下。这下我应该放心了，应该高兴才对，可是我却怎么也高兴不起来。老婆非常高兴，她准备享受孕妇所特有的待遇，最近变的特别挑剔和傲慢，对我动辄颐指气使。但是，我并没有如她所愿，给予她足够的照顾，让她享受到她认为应有的待遇。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;对现状我有很多的不满，对将来我有很多的担忧，我试图这样安慰自己，有了孩子，你还怕什么？可是正因为有了孩子，我才担心他过的不好。这个明年就要出生的宝宝，让我想起了自己不堪回首的童年，我不想让孩子过我童年那样的生活。我想努力的奋斗，我也正在这么做，可是正如那句流行语，理想很丰满，现实很骨感。回首我的过去，这么多年来，我的生活更多的是失望。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;将为人父的我，是否能应对即将到来的挑战，我心里很没底。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;但是一切已经到来，我已别无选择，只能鼓起勇气，面对现实。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;也许，给心里一片阳光，会照亮我爱的人吧！&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;与这条路相邻的另一条路，也就是我刚才买樱桃的那条路，则是完全另一番景象，那里路两旁各式各样的摊位应有尽有，常常因为摊主占道经营而造成交通阻塞。呼和浩特商报的每天报道一些鸡零狗碎的事情，大部分要在这里捕捉，我和老婆经常怀疑这位记者就住在附近。这条街经常会看到城管的车停在路边，烧烤摊上坐着脑满肠肥的大汉在白吃白喝。&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;我每天走在路上，总有热闹看，而每次热闹总是由城管引起的，伟大的城管，你们终将改变世界！&lt;/p&gt;
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